My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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