The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
FUCK WHALES
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
