i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize