Porn is love you can see.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
