sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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