i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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