riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
