I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize