If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
