it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
