Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
