butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
