If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
time to smoke my breakfast
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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