Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
