Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Found the puke drawer
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
