We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize