ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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