I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
id be glad to
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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