There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
