If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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