I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
