Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
