I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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