i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
