so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
