You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
