update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'd cum for enchiladas.
This is my gift to your gina
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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