You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
where are you?
Hypothermia
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
