her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I think your dad took our porno
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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