how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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