Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
My hand turned me down
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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