oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Randomize
