sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
