First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
