your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
