I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
