I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
