I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I think I died a long time ago.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
