I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
