I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
