'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
