I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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