Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
