Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
