Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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