Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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