who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
there is glitter all over my balls
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