he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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