home. puking in laundry basket.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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