I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
