I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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