Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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