After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
