i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
