Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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