Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
