bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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