it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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