omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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