Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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