just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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