I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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